I was bored and I didn't have any idea what to write about until I got in a discussion with some girls.
The theme was the classical "What sex is better, male or female?" so I decided to write a little about it partly as a revenge, but also as a mind opener to those who live in the same women controlled world as I do;)

Ten answers Men Would Like To Give To Women's Stupid Questions, But Never Will:

10. No, we can't be friends, I just want to use you for sex.

9. The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all the freaking ice-cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.

8. You've got shit chance of me calling you.

7. No, I won't be gentle.

6. I just asked for you phone number, not your freaking life story!

5. Well yes actually, I do this all the time.

4. I hate your fucking friends.

3. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you after tonight.

2. I would rather watch a stick movie.

1. No, you can’t borrow my credit card or do you want me to end up like Jan Thomas?


Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say:

10. Do you think this dress makes me look too slim?

9. You take me out too much, can't we just stay in?

8. A fake one will do.

7. Do you want to watch Rambo?

6. Have a night out with your mates, you deserve it.

5. That Pamela Anderson has a lovely body.

4. My mother is a real old bitch.

3. No, no, you buy me too much already.

2. Use my credit card.

1. What headache?

Yes I know it's boring reading long jokes but these are worth it...

Revenge:

A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said, "No!" He said,

"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door! . The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys.

She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-***** who ran over my FROG!"

(censured for the sake of the teacher)

Bad Luck:

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."